Step It Up

Classy:
+ Made a homemade pizza Friday night
+ PR’ed in the Bridges Freedom Run
+ Watched a French film with subtitles
+ And only fell asleep once
+ Had coffee with Maggie Sunday morning in Hyde Park

Broad:
- Maggie brought her own pumpkin bread to the coffee shop and we ate it out of a Ziploc bag
- Called somebody a cheater during the Bridges Freedom Run
- Sort of loved the fact that the cops had to tase a “perp on the loose” just a few blocks from where we live
- Ate Saturday night dinner at a strip mall in Norwood
- Drank Diet Coke straight from the 2-liter while waiting for our take out order
- Bought candy cigarettes
- Smoked one at the Double Dragon II
- Smoked another one at the Coffee Emporium
- Asked Donnie if he wouldn’t mind if I “just sat in the car” while he grocery shopped
- To which he replied that I needed to “step it up”
- Which, incidentally, is the same advice that Gary gave to Amber on this week’s episode of Teen Mom

Total Score: 5 – 11 = -6 (Well! That’s unacceptable!)

Operation Class It Up: Tuesday

CLASSY: Stopping by Maggie and Jennie's apartment to "save" them from the dead mouse in their kitchen cupboard.

BROAD: Chasing them around the apartment with a dead mouse in a cardboard box.

Operation Class It Up: Road Trip Edition

Classy
+ Refrained from wearing “soft pants” in the car
+ Spent some time practicing calculating the coefficient of dispersion for my budgeting midterm
+ Kept my shoes on and my feet off the dashboard
+ My luggage is pretty


Broad
- My luggage is pretty (much covered in cat hair)
- My dashboard has a big crack in it and my car sounds like a bag of bolts
- Had no choice but to listen to crap country on the radio because my cd player is busted
- Remembered every word to John Michael Montgomery’s Grundy County Auction song
- Had a ten minute conversation about pogs and slammers
- Ate two bites of Donnie’s McChicken Ranch wrap (worst vegetarian ever!!!)

Total Points: 4-6 = -2

But it could have been worse: there were no fountain beverages, Cracker Barrel stops, or offensive gestures.

In Response To Your Question

So Maggie asked in the comments section of my last post: "How many points do I get for putting my pajamas on at 3:30?!?!" I figured she probably needed for me to break it down for her.

A few things to consider:

First: Why did you elect to change into your pajamas at 3:30?
If it was because you were sick and wanted to “take care of yourself” add one classy point.
If it was because you planned on soaking your feet in lavender and painting your nails, add two classy points.
If it was to watch Sister Wives and read People magazine, subtract one broad point.
If it was because you are generally LAY-ZAY, subtract two broad points.

Next: What kind of pajamas were they?
If the tops matched the bottom, add a classy point.
If they were silk, add another classy point.
If your pajamas were actually boxer shorts and a Clemson t-shirt, subtract one broad point.
If the pajamas in any way resemble a sack of any kind (potato, flour), subtract one broad point.
If you purchased your pajamas from a store where you can choose to push a shopping cart (see Big Mama, Fashion Friday), subtract one broad point.
If an animal has chewed through any part of the pajamas or pajama footwear, subtract two points (does this only happen at my house!?)

And finally: Were they clean?
If you had to pick them up from the floor before putting them on, subtract one broad point.
For every night you had previously worn the pajamas, subtract one broad point.
If you have worn the pajamas for more than 5 consecutive nights, you are just nastay.


I hope this answers your question. Please tally your points and leave them in the comments section of this post.

Operation Class It Up: Weekend Edition

Classy Points
+ Purchased a dress and shrug from White House Black Market for Megan and Scott’s Wedding
+ Opted to get my much-needed haircut from Avalon instead of Great Clips—gave the stylist a nice tip even though the cut was a little lop-sided (at least there were no trashbags involved)
+ Went to Coffee Emporium (2x) to study
+ Had a lovely after-wine tasting dinner Friday night at Habits with Donnie and Maggie
+ Bought a new pair of wedge sandals

Broad Points
- Bought sandals in October
- From Goodwill
- And wore them home from the store.
- The first place I looked for a dress for the wedding was at a new store at Rookwood that had a sign out front advertising “Dresses: $7.99! Skirts: $5.99! Shirts: $3.99!” I’m not sure what this place was called, but it appeared that all of the clothes were built from dental floss and sandwich bags
- Made “Wacky Mac” for dinner Saturday
- Bought a 44 oz Diet Coke from BP when I got gas and proceeded to carry it around with me for the rest of the day
- Got a six pack from Walgreens—the girl a the checkout line was too young to ring me up out so I had to pay at Cosmetics

5-7 = -2 (arrggghhh)

Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

So we haven't been to the grocery store in 11 days. Therefore, I had lunch here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt_1UJVnYYI&feature=related

Operation Class It Up: Day 7

Classy Points
+ Had a champagne toast for the Reds when they made the playoffs (okay, I really didn’t, but it would have been classy)


Broad Points
- Showed up at my 3:00 United Way meeting in jeans because I had forgotten about it when getting dressed
- Neglected to hold the door open for my co-worker—got a sarcastic “thanks, Kayla” which we all laughed about later
- Ate granola with no utensils during class (it wasn't easy, and I had to brush the crumbs off my chest before I stood up)
- Read “Kelly’s Korner” on my phone while stopped at a long light

Final Score: 1-4 = -3

Operation Class It Up: Day 6

Classy Points
+ My shoes matched my belt
+ Because I had packed my lunch last night before I went to bed, I made it out the door in plenty of time for my 9:00 meeting without feeling rushed
+ Ran “Rich Man’s Loop” with Donnie after work (Grandin to Edwards to Observatory to Madison)
+ Enjoyed homemade enchiladas for dinner


Broad Points
- Agreed to watch “Education Nation” with Donnie only on the condition that he watch “Sister Wives” with me first
- Ate Goobers during case conferencing
- Got accused of having a “George Bush laugh”

4-3 = 1 (Classy!)

Shame Comes in a Silver Can

I don't think there's anything I could have a recycling bin full of that would make up for this...

Style Advice from the Duggars

CLASSY: Donnie finally decided to do something about his Bieber hair.

BROAD: He learned from “19 Kids and Counting” that punching your head and arms through a trash bag and shaving yourself bald is an acceptable substitute for going to the salon.

Operation Class It Up: Day 5

Classy Points:
+ Business lunch at Balboa’s
+ Went to a wine tasting

Broad Points:
- The wine tasting was at a grocery store
- While at the wine tasting, entered into a verbal contract to buy Maggie's purse from her for $20--asked her if she wouldn't mind dumping her stuff into a plastic sack so that I could have the purse right away
- Entered a contest on WLW to win tickets to audition for “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”
- The highlight of my day was when my Old Navy purchase rang up for $1.03 rather than $5.00
- While Donnie attended the Mid Point Music Festival, I opted to stay home and watch four episodes of the Duggars

Final Score: 2-5 = -3 (Sheet, I tied with Farrah!)

P.S. I changed the comments settings to make it easier to comment if you're interested.

Feature Friday: She's a Classy Broad

I thought it would be fun to feature a classy broad every Friday. To nominate yourself or someone you know for this feature, please leave a comment in the comments section. Since there are only two or three people who read this, I should be able to feature every nomination.

Today's Classy Broad is Farrah from Teen Mom!



Classy Points:
+ Excellent hair care/ grooming
+ Always looks pulled together
+ Stuck with something classic for her baby’s name

Broad Points:
- The attitude has got to go
- Lost $3000 in a Craigslist scam
- Had to get a paternity test
- Left her baby on the counter unattended
- Left her baby in the sink unattended
- Left her baby in her apartment complex’s HALLWAY unattended

Final Score: 3-6 = -3

Sorry, Farrah.

Yes, I watch Teen Mom.

Operation Class It Up: Day 4

Classy Points
+ Had tea instead of diet coke as my afternoon pick me up.
+ After work I attended the MPA Fall Reception before heading to my budgeting class.


Broad Points:
- My afternoon tea was so hot I spit it out all over the table. It would have been one thing if I had been alone in my office. Alas, I was in a meeting.
- On my way out of the MPA reception, I hit up the dessert table one last time. Nothing beats a purse full of brownies.
- Got in an argument with my professor over whether Cincinnati City Council should be elected at large or by district. Most of my points started with, “Uhhh, but, urhm.” He might have had the advantage because he wasn’t gorging himself on brownies.

Final Score: 2-3 = -1 (whoops)

Operation Class It Up: Day 3

Classy Points
+ Well accessorized:



Broad Points
- I definitely forgot to wear deodorant today

Final Score: 1-1 = 0

True Story

CLASSY: After a relaxing day poolside, Maggie and I decided we needed to stop for a cool beverage before heading home.

BROAD: In the McDonald’s drive-thru, we were perplexed by the pronunciation of the word “Frappe.” When ordering, I decided to go with “frap.”

Judging by the looks of the broad at drive thru window, I don’t think that was right.

Operation Class It up: Day 2

Classy Points:
+ Looking forward to a relaxing week at work
+ Enjoyed my leftover shrimp, grape tomatoes, and arugula for lunch
+ Donnie got home late from work because he was meeting a friend for tennis (point by association!)
+ Walked Zola to Annwood Grotto and back
+ On my way home, I chatted with my neighbor across the street

Broad Points:
- Replace “chatted” with “talked smack about the other neighbors” and you would have a more accurate representation of that conversation
- Did I mention my neighbor was drinking Budweiser from a 40?
- Did I mention I kind of wanted a sip?
- Also, I ate hummus out of the container using my finger


Final Score: 5-4 = 1 It’s a classy day!

A Date!

CLASSY: On Saturday night, after Indian food in Clifton, we got coffee and dessert at Awakenings and sat in Hyde Park Square. The Planetarium had set up its telescopes and gave everybody in the park a chance to peek at the craters in the moon. It was lovely!

BROAD: When we got home from our date I discovered that our DVR list has 27 episodes of “Cops” saved to watch later (ahem, Donnie).

Let Me Explain Myself...

So the purpose of this blog is to embrace the highs and lows of my Midwestern culture. A perfect example: one time Maggie posted something on her Facebook wall about us drinking champagne and eating chocolate while we watched the Bachelorette Finale. Classy. But I couldn’t HELP but add a comment exposing the fact that we were also eating fistfuls of imitation Cheez Its out of the box. Broad.

Another example: At the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to (Classy, Tom and Sarah!) I drank so much white wine that at the end of a dance I fell down and banged my head up on a table (Broad). Let’s not even talk about the night before my own wedding. Okay, maybe we’ll talk about it in a later post.

This blog is also an attempt to class it up just a little bit by balancing the “broad” with the “classy.” Too many nights squandered in front of the tube aren’t adding anything to my resume. In other words: I really need to get out more. People have been telling me this for years!

Operation Class It Up: Day 1

Classy Points:
+ Had cheese and crackers at 5:00pm
+ Listened to some jazz while I had my snack
+ Changed out of my pajamas

Broad Points:
- My wine glass had lite beer in it
- My wine glass came from Whole Foods
- My non pajama clothes were yoga pants and a t-shirt (both w/ bleach stains)
- Earlier today, I had to stop at Maggie and Jennie's house halfway through my run because I had to go the to the bathroom SO BAD

Final Score: 3-4 = -1

Definition

Straight from Yahoo! Answers:

Answer 1: Classy refers to someone who has class as in a higher social standing. "Broad" is vulgar and is not a pleasant word to refer to a lady. It is a slang, offensive term and may refer to a promiscuous woman.

The label is used by lower class people to refer to a woman who has class except that they use the term "broad" because they are low-class themselves.

It is also old-fashioned and not in common used today. As the other answer stated, you will hear it used in older movies.

Answer 2: No, I'd say the opposite. It's how a working class character would describe a woman of standing. Depending on context, it can be used sincerely or mockingly.

It can be used to mean '****' when it is used sarcastically. "Yeah, she's a REEAALL classy broad... "