Sunday, October 24, 2010

Step It Up

Classy:
+ Made a homemade pizza Friday night
+ PR’ed in the Bridges Freedom Run
+ Watched a French film with subtitles
+ And only fell asleep once
+ Had coffee with Maggie Sunday morning in Hyde Park

Broad:
- Maggie brought her own pumpkin bread to the coffee shop and we ate it out of a Ziploc bag
- Called somebody a cheater during the Bridges Freedom Run
- Sort of loved the fact that the cops had to tase a “perp on the loose” just a few blocks from where we live
- Ate Saturday night dinner at a strip mall in Norwood
- Drank Diet Coke straight from the 2-liter while waiting for our take out order
- Bought candy cigarettes
- Smoked one at the Double Dragon II
- Smoked another one at the Coffee Emporium
- Asked Donnie if he wouldn’t mind if I “just sat in the car” while he grocery shopped
- To which he replied that I needed to “step it up”
- Which, incidentally, is the same advice that Gary gave to Amber on this week’s episode of Teen Mom

Total Score: 5 – 11 = -6 (Well! That’s unacceptable!)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Operation Class It Up: Tuesday

CLASSY: Stopping by Maggie and Jennie's apartment to "save" them from the dead mouse in their kitchen cupboard.

BROAD: Chasing them around the apartment with a dead mouse in a cardboard box.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Operation Class It Up: Road Trip Edition

Classy
+ Refrained from wearing “soft pants” in the car
+ Spent some time practicing calculating the coefficient of dispersion for my budgeting midterm
+ Kept my shoes on and my feet off the dashboard
+ My luggage is pretty


Broad
- My luggage is pretty (much covered in cat hair)
- My dashboard has a big crack in it and my car sounds like a bag of bolts
- Had no choice but to listen to crap country on the radio because my cd player is busted
- Remembered every word to John Michael Montgomery’s Grundy County Auction song
- Had a ten minute conversation about pogs and slammers
- Ate two bites of Donnie’s McChicken Ranch wrap (worst vegetarian ever!!!)

Total Points: 4-6 = -2

But it could have been worse: there were no fountain beverages, Cracker Barrel stops, or offensive gestures.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

In Response To Your Question

So Maggie asked in the comments section of my last post: "How many points do I get for putting my pajamas on at 3:30?!?!" I figured she probably needed for me to break it down for her.

A few things to consider:

First: Why did you elect to change into your pajamas at 3:30?
If it was because you were sick and wanted to “take care of yourself” add one classy point.
If it was because you planned on soaking your feet in lavender and painting your nails, add two classy points.
If it was to watch Sister Wives and read People magazine, subtract one broad point.
If it was because you are generally LAY-ZAY, subtract two broad points.

Next: What kind of pajamas were they?
If the tops matched the bottom, add a classy point.
If they were silk, add another classy point.
If your pajamas were actually boxer shorts and a Clemson t-shirt, subtract one broad point.
If the pajamas in any way resemble a sack of any kind (potato, flour), subtract one broad point.
If you purchased your pajamas from a store where you can choose to push a shopping cart (see Big Mama, Fashion Friday), subtract one broad point.
If an animal has chewed through any part of the pajamas or pajama footwear, subtract two points (does this only happen at my house!?)

And finally: Were they clean?
If you had to pick them up from the floor before putting them on, subtract one broad point.
For every night you had previously worn the pajamas, subtract one broad point.
If you have worn the pajamas for more than 5 consecutive nights, you are just nastay.


I hope this answers your question. Please tally your points and leave them in the comments section of this post.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Operation Class It Up: Weekend Edition

Classy Points
+ Purchased a dress and shrug from White House Black Market for Megan and Scott’s Wedding
+ Opted to get my much-needed haircut from Avalon instead of Great Clips—gave the stylist a nice tip even though the cut was a little lop-sided (at least there were no trashbags involved)
+ Went to Coffee Emporium (2x) to study
+ Had a lovely after-wine tasting dinner Friday night at Habits with Donnie and Maggie
+ Bought a new pair of wedge sandals

Broad Points
- Bought sandals in October
- From Goodwill
- And wore them home from the store.
- The first place I looked for a dress for the wedding was at a new store at Rookwood that had a sign out front advertising “Dresses: $7.99! Skirts: $5.99! Shirts: $3.99!” I’m not sure what this place was called, but it appeared that all of the clothes were built from dental floss and sandwich bags
- Made “Wacky Mac” for dinner Saturday
- Bought a 44 oz Diet Coke from BP when I got gas and proceeded to carry it around with me for the rest of the day
- Got a six pack from Walgreens—the girl a the checkout line was too young to ring me up out so I had to pay at Cosmetics

5-7 = -2 (arrggghhh)